he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
