its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You ruined the universe
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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