somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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