After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
