my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
