My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
