The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
