Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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