What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize