new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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