She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
