i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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