I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
