Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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