hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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