Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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