My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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