Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
