Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
