Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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