so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.