how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
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Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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