bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
