Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"

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(423): my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead" http://tfl.nu/865j

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(514): View more from Quebec

i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."

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(514): i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty." http://tfl.nu/ecou

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(304): View more from West Virginia

hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun

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(304): hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun http://tfl.nu/jcw4

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(850): View more from Florida

The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.

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(850): The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man. http://tfl.nu/ikii

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(904): View more from Florida

it's circumsized.

(954): View more from Florida

I think this conversation is over.

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(904): it's circumsized. (954): I think this conversation is over. http://tfl.nu/jc3y

Replies (44) Good night (1106) Bad night (4949)
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(214): View more from Texas

It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...

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(214): It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil... http://tfl.nu/iyla

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(317): View more from Indiana

my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....

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(317): my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys.... http://tfl.nu/ljba

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(970): View more from Colorado

Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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(970): Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it... http://tfl.nu/w07g

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(402): View more from Nebraska

soo how bad was i last night?

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.

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(402): soo how bad was i last night? (1-402): licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad. http://tfl.nu/4qt2

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(443): View more from Maryland

we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

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(443): we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out. http://tfl.nu/gq5i

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(972): View more from Texas

Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....

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(972): Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories.... http://tfl.nu/damv

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(512): View more from Texas

I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show

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(512): I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show http://tfl.nu/tn7s

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(765): View more from Indiana

I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.

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(765): I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today. http://tfl.nu/xjgq

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(312): View more from Illinois

You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.

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(312): You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on. http://tfl.nu/wd3p

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL

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(403): I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON (403): PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY (403): THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL http://tfl.nu/9qgu

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