I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.