Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.