i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
