Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
