i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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