i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
