No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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