I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
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So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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