Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
