No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
