last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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