this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
