She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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