you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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