I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
