guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize