Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
