Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
