Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
