ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
