you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
sick fucks of a feather flock together
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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