WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
