Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
