just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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