Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
