I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
