i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
