If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
do nipples grow back?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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