why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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