Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Still dying that you shit outside
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
