You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize