we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
