Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
