I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
