I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
