i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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