hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Your cock deserves a montage
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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