dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
