I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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