i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize