im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
