This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
